In Culture Amp, one of our core values is “Have the confidence to show vulnerability.” One way to put this in practice is by having the rite of passage we offer to our new campers by letting them tell funny jokes during their first all-hands conference.
We’ve seen plenty of fuuny jokes, so-bad-they’re good knock-knock jokes, and even a few moments of stand-up comedy pure. Since 2017, more than 500 new campers have been added to the three groups of Customers, Orgs, and Products. And we thought we’d share their laughs with you.
Check out the article, and use your most memorable Funny jokes to impress your colleagues.
Funny Jokes to laugh at with colleagues
Customer Group Campers
We work within a team-based organizational structure, and our customer group is accountable for finding, winning, and retaining customers. Teams in this group include Marketing Sales, Outreach, Sales, and many more.
Gloria, M. How do you locate Will Smith in the snow? Look for the “Fresh Prince”
Nadeje M.What does a nosey pepper do? Get jalapeno business.
Franklin C. Why do golfers have two pairs of pants? Because he is afraid to be a “Hole-in-one.”
Casey M.What’s the pirate’s most-loved letter? (insert the word “R”) Then you’d think it’s”R,” but in reality, it’s “R,” But it’s the “C.”
Nathan A. Assistant: What size do the hinges, doors wall, locks, and entries have to have so that they all fit?
The person who invented the restrooms: It’s hard to emphasize the importance of this part.
Jasmine E. A bear enters an establishment and asks the bartender, “I’ll take one ………… one-pint glass of alcohol, please.” The bartender inquires, “Why that long gap?” The bear responds, “Well, I’ve always been a fan!”
Kat J. What made the can crusher leave his position? It was because he used to be soda press.
Matt O. What is the name you would use to describe someone who isn’t a fan of carbs? Lack-Toast Intolerant.
A man enters a bar, and the place is empty. It’s only the bartender and him. He settles down and takes one drink.
He hears someone say, “Pssst…I like your tie.” The man looks around but does not see anyone.
“Pssst…that color is nice to you.”
The bartender asks him, “Excuse for me but…are I speaking with you?”
The bartender is irritated as he says, “No, sorry about the situation. The peanuts are the culprit; they’re free.”
Sinan W.Why did the birthday boy wrap himself in the newspaper? He was looking to live within the current.
Kusum C.What do you wear to a house party? A dress.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is back in Austria to celebrate Easter. Break.
After he has returned to California, his friend tells him, “Arnie, I heard you’ve returned to Austria to celebrate Easter. What did you think of it?”
Arnie responded [in Arnie’s voice “Oh, it was horrible! My father was the one who destroyed Easter Egg hunt. Easter Egg hunt, he placed all eggs in horrible places, and no one could find any eggs, and the consensus was that we suffered a terrible day.”
His friend then responds, “Oh Arnie, that’s no good, I’m sorry! Does that mean that you aren’t a fan anymore of Easter?”
Arnie Arnie, It is essential to read in an Arnie voice Annie “Oh No, no way I’m still a huge fan of Easter,” baby.”
Knock knock. Who’s there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock.
Chat A. Man walks to a pet store to purchase a pet. The shop’s owner points out three identical parrots perched on a perch. But, he says, “The parrot on the left will cost you $500.”
“Why does the cost of the parrot run so high?” is the man’s question. The owner responds, “Well, the parrot can learn to operate computers.”
The man then inquires about the next bird and discovers that it will cost 1,000 dollars, as it can do what the parrot before it can do and also know how to operate its UNIX operating system.
Naturally, the frightened man inquires about the third bird but is told it is priced at $2,000.
It is a given that this raises the”What if “What is it that you can do?”
The owner responds,
“To be honest, I’ve not seen him do anything, except for the fact that the two of them are bossy!”
Eloi, L.What did the full glass tell an empty bottle? You look drunk.
What’s the potato’s preferred method of transport? The gravy train
Stephanie B. Was there anything one of the oceans tell the other? They just did a wave.
Jessica B. Why shouldn’t you be in the love of tennis players? For the…” love is nothing!
Gudrun V.Why does it take pirates so long to master the alphabet? Because they can have a lifetime of C.
Christina H. Why did the lady go on an evening date to meet the mushrooms? Because the guy was fun to be around.
What is the reason why Snoop Dogg uses an umbrella?
David B. What do politicians and diapers are in the same category? Both smell and require to be changed regularly.
Brittney K.Why couldn’t the toilet paper get across the road? It was because it got stuck in an opening.
Why didn’t the bike beg to move? Because it had two tires!
Melissa. An elderly lady went into a pet shop where she saw a parrot and asked the store owner to buy it. The owner replied, “Heck no! This parrot has a bad mouth! I guarantee you that you will not want this parrot!”
She replied, “I can teach it proper manners.”
When she returned home, the bird said an unkind word, and she decided to put it on the counter for about 10 seconds.
She pulled her phone out and asked, “Did you learn from your mistakes?” It said another word that was not good, and the girl put it for about 30 minutes. Finally, she took it out and asked if it had learned its lesson.
The bird said, “Brr… Yes, I have learned the lesson. But how did that chicken behave?”
Grace M.I informed my doctor that I had broken my arm twice. He advised me not to go to these places.
Amy C.Knock knock (who’s there?) To (to whom?) It’s “to whom.”
Allison M.Two antennas decided to marry The ceremony was pretty dull. However, the reception was beautiful!
Brit F.Want to hear the pizza Funny jokes?
It’s just too cute!
Amin A. Chemistry is an excellent science for solving issues? Because they have all the answers!
Molly B. What sort of pair of trousers is Mario and Luigi wearing? Denim, denim, denim
I informed my boss that three companies were after me, and I needed an increase to keep my job. We argued for a couple of minutes before the boss gave me a five percent increase.
When he was leaving his workplace, he stopped me and asked me, “By you, by the way, which companies are following you?” I said, “The gas, electric cable, and gas companies.”
Janene, S.Why can’t you starve in the desert? Due to all of the sand that is present!
Andy M.Why is it that Chuck Norris uses the internet? Because he’s not willing to submit.
Fiona, S.What can a nosey chili do? It is a jalapeno business.
Siddhartha K.Why don’t we find elephants hidden in trees? Because they’re very good at this.
Krunal The P.What did the right eye tell that left eye? In truth, Between you and me, there is a smell.
Jeanne D.A string enters an establishment, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve any strings here.” The string leaves disappointed and sad and then gets an idea. He puts himself with a bow, cuts off the ends of his line to make them look attractive, and then walks back to the bar.
The bartender glances at him and says, “Hey Aren’t you that string that I turned my back on before?” and the string replies, “Nope! I’m a knot that’s frayed!”
What was the reason why the scarecrow got promoted? Because he had a good reputation at his job!
What is an animal that’s been rolled over by steamrollers?
J.D. P. What does Lady Gaga like about her steak? (sing) Raw-raw-raw-ra-ah-aww
Kealan H./Julie J. (Product)What did the cheese think when it looked at the mirror? Haloumi!
Tiya B. Why was the developer broken? Because he drained the entirety of his cache.
Stephanie S.What is the proper name for the deer who can’t see? “No eye deer”
What’s an animal that is blind and doesn’t have legs? “Still no eye deer.”
What is a deer who can’t see, has no legs, and was just struck by a car? There’s no red-eye deer.
I’ve been spending the last five months on the road, so instead of telling Funny jokes, I decided to tell an exciting story about some of my friends I’ve encountered.
So, I’m now in Cambodia relaxing on the beach, and meeting new people, like you do with a good friend, drinking and chatting. One of the guys I’ve met is Jurgen. He’s as broad as he’s tall, and his stomach is a huge stomach that looks like barrels. But, it’s not all that is distinctive about Jurgen. The thing that stands out is the massive tattoo Jurgen has carved on his torso and over his stomach. Five letters. One word. PIZZA.
As we’re sipping our drinks and meeting up with each other, My mind keeps wandering towards the image. What’s the significance behind it…What is it? Does it serve as a social commentary on the current state in the global community? Do you think it’s a nickname for his pet? And the more time we spend in the bar and chatting, the more determined I am to figure it out. Finally, after several beers, I raise the question.
“Can I ask a question?”
“Of course, you could, Dan.”
“What do the Pizza tattoo signify… Does it represent an old-fashioned nickname? Is it a symbol significance symbolic or more profound?”
And Jurgen takes his beer down as he looks at me and then says nothing.
“No, I just love Pizza.”
Org Group Campers
The members of the Org Group are responsible for creating the company, defining the experience of employees, and providing support to Customers & Products. Teams within this group include People & Experience, Finance, and Legal.
Kayleigh M.A man goes to the Zoo. There is only one exhibit at the Zoo. It was a Shih Tzu.
Ginny, F.If Bert Newton was a butcher…how do you introduce your wife to him? Meet Patty!
Belinda G.I was up all night trying to determine the sun’s position. Then, it hit me.
Ryan A. What is the reason the Chicken Coop just has two doors? If it had four doors, it would be the size of a Chicken Sedan!
What is the bear without teeth?
Henry H.Why should you wear glasses in classes in maths? Because it aids in the division.
Christian M.Can an ostrich leap higher than an average house? Yes, of course. A home won’t leap even once!
Ann E.Have you heard about the person who stole the calendar? The calendar was stolen, and he ended up with 12 months!
Ayla, what’s the distinction between a stylish cyclist and a shabby person riding a tricycle? A tire.
Product Group Campers
It’s true; the campers from the product group are charged with constructing infrastructure for the Culture Amp platform. This group comprises teams like Front End, Share & Act, Security, and Product Marketing. They’ve designed the majority of our survey, including employee engagement and effectiveness.
David C. I do not have funny jokes. Instead, I’m going to share my top animal knowledge. Did you realize it’s true that ants are the sole animals that don’t suffer from illness? It’s true! It’s because they’re lacking antibodies.
Paul A. Before you comment make sure you walk a mile wearing their shoes. This way, should you ever criticize them, you’re just a mile away and in the shoes of theirs.
Michael B./Oscar T. (Customer)I was in the park and wondered how this frisbee was growing bigger… Then, I was struck by the idea.
Letian W.Why is it hard for a communist to tell an absurd funny jokes? It’s not entertaining until everyone understands the mark.
man enters an establishment and asks, “Give me a pint before things get out of hand!” He drinks the beer and then orders another one, saying, “Give me a beer before the problems begin!”
The bartender is confused. The bartender looks confused for a while, but after the fifth beer, the bartender is puzzled and asks the gentleman, “When are you going to be able to pay for these drinks?”
The man responds, “Now the problems start!”
Daniel B. What is the difference between a Zippo and a hippo? The one is pretty heavy, while the other one is lighter.
I was told I’d need to think of an idea for this event, and I’ve always had the reputation of being one of those who can’t keep the punchline straight, So I thought I’d better be prepared for it.
Therefore, I went to a bookstore and picked up a great funny jokes book to play with, find some ideas, or simply take a joke and use it.
I realized that I’d erroneously bought a thesaurus when I came home. So it’s easy to understand why I was pretty devastated… angry… sad… and… shocked.
Winny Y. One time, there was a man who traveled to a foreign area and came across a vendor offering hand-crafted handheld fans. He wanted the most beautiful and longest-lasting fan, and the proprietor charged him an astounding $1000! After the first time, the device broke, so he returned it to get a refund.
The owner was attentive to the complaints, and then asked what he did with the fan. The man showed him flapping the fan in the same way you would normally do.
The owner replied, “Ah! No wonder! You’ve used the fan incorrectly. This is how to utilize it.”
Then, he took the fan in his hands and quickly turned his head left and right.
A designer enters the bar. The bartender tells her, “Sorry, we don’t serve the kind of person you are in here.”
A manager from the product department walks into the bar and requests an alcoholic drink. The bartender replies, “Sorry, no drinks but we’ll look into including them in the future.”
A drunk Elm programmer enters the bar. The bartender tells him, “Sorry, we don’t serve dysfunctional programmers.”
Then the Q.A. engineer enters the bar and orders a drink 10, ten beers 2.5 million drinks, and even a pet, and then leaves without payment.
Peter O. What’s Forrest Gump’s password for email? 1forrest1
Tom R.When I first met my wife, I inquired if she was vegetarian as she was a huge animal lover.
She replied, “No, I just really dislike vegetables.”
Rebecca S.Did you know that the desire to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is never more than just a few minutes away? A tiny whim… it’s a mere whim far away…
Prince L.And God said to John, “Come forth and you will be blessed with immortality!” However, John was fifth in line and was awarded an oven.
I bought the world’s most sexiest thesaurus today. It’s not just awful, it’s even worse.
Dani A. teacher: “Anyone who thinks he’s dumb should get up!” Nobody gets in the air * Instructor: “I’m sure there are some students who are stupid here!” *Little Johnny gets on his feet * teacher: “Ohh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?” Little Johnny: “No… I’m sorry that you’re standing on your own …”
Jason O. My housemate is a big Richmond Tigers fan. In the present, the Richmond Football Club in Melbourne hasn’t played in the finals in the year 1982 (way way before her time) which is huge for her.
She was disappointed, as she didn’t expect them to get to the finals (after all, they’ve never have made it this far in her entire life) which is why when she began planning her wedding, she chose that spring day.
In shock, she realized that she was unable to accomplish both, she committed herself to the tough choice that was her only option and shared the news on Facebook “If anyone wants to fill in my spot this Saturday at 2 pm on St Mark’s Chapel, let me know.”
What made the ghost seek rehab? The ghost was just addicted the boos.
Deepa S.Why did the donut have to go to the dentist? For an amalgam filling.
Kim D.What is a vegan zombie’s favorite food to consume? Graaains.
Jaime T./Kristina L. (Customer)What do you refer to as Batman when he does not attend church? Christian Bale.
Robert J. Did you know about 1023MB? It’s likely because they don’t have an event as of yet…
Kunwardeep B. My wife and I joke about our competitive nature. But I laugh more.
Michael R.Why did the car develop flat tires? There was an intersection on the road!
An Italian businessman visits Indonesia on a business trip. He is not a fan of Indonesian food and so approached the concierge at the hotel “Is there a restaurant that I can get Italian food?” The concierge replies, “You’re lucky sir, there’s a new pizza place that recently opened, and they deliver.” The businessman requests the number of the restaurant, then returns to his room and orders pizza.
30 minutes later, the delivery man arrives to deliver the pizza. He is eating the pizza after taking it. Then he starts sneezing and shouting at the delivery man, “What did you put on this pizza?”
The delivery person bows in reverence and says “We delivered exactly what you requested on the line Sir. The delivery man says, “It’s only pepper”
Olga S.Can an ostrich leap over that of the Empire State Building? Yes, of course. It’s true that the Empire State Building can’t jump.
Lauren M.Why aren’t scientists able to believe in Atoms? They are the basis of the entirety of.
Kristopher H.Why didn’t the Terminator upgrade to Windows 10? I asked him, and he replied, “I still love vista baby.”
Rebecca V.What did the janitor’s voice say as he leapt into the bathroom? SUPPLIES!!! !
Sebastian C.What’s orange and sound like the sound of a parrot? A carrot!
Tom G.How did the hipster melt his mouth? He had his pizza before it got cool.
Sam M.Two whales stroll into a bar.
They take a seat at the bar and the first one turns to the bartender and says: “Whhhhhoooooaaaaaeeeeeyyyyiiiiiaaaalllllllooooaaaaauuu?”
The second turns back towards the first and states, “Shut up Fred, you’re drunk.”
James B. What is an animal with just one eye? A Do-you-think-he-saw-us!
David M.Two companions are walking along the street, thinking of things to do. One of them turns to the other and responds, “Let’s go get a drink. There’s a new establishment that makes the most delicious cocktail you’ll drink.”
They then head to the bar, and then go straight to the bartender “Bartender, please, two glasses of your top punch, please.”
The bartender responds with a firm tone, “If you want some punch, you’ll need to join in with everyone else.”
The group of friends look around, but there’s no punk line…
For for fuuny Jokes stay in touch with us.